This is one of many funny texts and jokes were emailed to me, and collected over many years. Without exception, they had come through a large chain of people, and were each completely untracable. Because of this, I have taken them to be public property, and shared them with you on this site.

Warning: Some of these files are incredibly funny, and you read them at your own risk - I accept no responsibility! (particularly for time lost due to rolling on the floor).

        On Tuesday of this week, a Corporate Safety engineer contacted
        the engineer who is the Safety Liason for our operation.  The
        Corporate guy was concerned because someone had informed him
        that our operation used large quantities of Dihydrogen Monoxide.
        He could not find Dihydrogen Monoxide listed with our MSDS's.
        (For those not familiar with OSHA regulations, all chemicals and
        materials must have a Material Safety Data Sheet, or MSDS, which
        tells all sorts of things, such as hazardous levels, lethal
        doses, emergency treatment, etc.)  Our Safety guy couldn't find
        anything on Dihydrogen Monoxide either, so he contacted my boss,
        who is the Chemist in charge of all the materials used in our
        operation.  My boss listened to our Safety guy, turned to me
        with a tired look and said,  "This is all my job amounts to."
        Turning back to the Safety guy, he said, "IT'S WATER!
        DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS 2 HYDROGENS AND 1 OXYGEN!  H2O!"

        And, believe it or not, we have an MSDS on the books for WATER.